About Chris Roller

People ask what I do. My reply is "I'm a geek, turned practical joker, turned nuclear engineer, turned UF student, turned Computer Electrical Engineer, turned programmer, turned father, turned peon, turned writer, turned bum, turned Freak, turned healer, turned divorced, turned legal rebel, turning God along the way. I'm kinda lawyer, kinda comedian, kinda happy, kinda sad, kinda God, kinda Jesus, kinda Lucifer, kinda Satan, kinda angel, kinda actor, kinda healer, kinda prophet, kinda false prophet, kinda powerful, kinda rich, kinda funny, kinda crazy, kinda stud, kinda fertile, kinda serious, kinda kind, kinda famous, kinda Superman, kinda good, kinda evil, kinda pure, very horny, kinda kidding, kinda good looking, kinda trustworthy, kinda alive".

Bad points:

I burp loudly.
My fart smells good. Everybody else's doesn't. So I don't want you cuttin' one around me, but you have to appreciate mine.
I swear.
I'm very poor.
I scratch my butt.
I like to fart in bed, then trap my wife under the covers.
I can't hold a job thanks to www.mytrumanshow.com.
I pick my nose.
I get cold sores occasionally.
I'm kinda bald.
One allergy is hay fever.
The back of my head has 2 ugly scars.

Good points:

USNavy Nuclear Power Electrical Engineer - E-6 in 4.5 years (Desert Shield/Storm). Nuclear power plant supervisor status at 5 years (age 23).
BS from University of Florida (UF) - Computer Engineering Degree (CEN) - 3.78 GPA.
I've had a good computer programming career.
You may experience some really good sex. I'm not promising anything though. It might be the best 10 seconds of your life - 30 seconds if you're lucky.
I have impressive psychic gifts.
I'm good in most sports.
I have a logical mind - people have commented on my genius (158 IQ or 147). (I've been told it's around 232 (TBD)
5'11", brown eyes, brown hair
In school, there's really no subject of study that troubled me.
I excelled at math, science, and engineering - 3.94 at UF.
In general, I have succeeded at everything I tried.
I've got a good sense of humor.
I almost never get sick. No family history of disease or ailments, like cancer, diabetes, etc. In perfect health except for a few nagging sports injuries.
I have the common sense gene. Hopefully (I'm praying), all my babies get this gene.
I have the Wish gene. All my babies get the Wish gene.
I have the god gene. Direct Chris babies (not magic babies) may get the god gene and an enhanced Wish gene - your baby could be a god.
With a little gym work and some hair, I could be a bona-fide love-making genius-baby-making stud-muffin.

Hobbies:

Bowling
Golf
Pool
Tennis
Computer programming
Singing and Karaoke
Skiing
Making music

Females are attractive to me if:

You are physically trim - in good shape.
You have long hair.
You wear little or no makeup.
You are funny (good sense of humor).
You are intelligent (college degree with a good GPA)
You have some good life experience (older/mature)

Other:

I like to drink socially - both beer and liquor.
I like almost any food.
I love sweets.
I have 3 sisters and 1 brother. I have 2 cats.
I have a boy (Dillon) and a girl (Nicole) with ex-wife Maria (married August 15, 1988). I have a boy (Joe/John) with babe Diana, girl Mary with Kim Olson.
I am 37 years old. I was born June 14, 1967 in Santa Maria, California.
I like almost any music except straight rap (I need music). I especially love all 80's classic rock.
My favorite shows are:
- Star Trek series, best being Enterprise
- X-Files
- Smallville (Superman series - awesome - love to claim that one as mine)
- Whose Line is it Anyways
- Comedy Channel gets over 50% of my TV viewing time - Crank Yankers, Saturday Night Live, Conan, Mad TV, etc.
- Humor-based talk shows
- Real reality shows, like the Jamie Kennedy Experiment, Joe Schmo, My big fat obnoxious fiancé, Crank Yankers, Trigger Happy TV, and Scare Tactics.
- ESPN, including, football, pool, and bowling shows.
Sex Personality
Personality
Multiple Intelligences

Religion:

Unity Church spiritual center.
Unitarian